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A Visit to My Past Self

It’s been a while since I wrote something. I miss writing. How should I start? What should I say?

The past few weeks have been a very reflective. I don’t know why but I kept thinking about the future. You know me, I am not a planner. I don’t have concrete plans about my future so every time I think of the future I feel uncomfortable. Maybe I’m over thinking.

Life is short. Life is a mystery. Life surprises us. It catches us off guard.

I just finished reading things I wrote a few years back and I can’t believe I’ve written such. I’d like to share a few excerpts here.

Excerpt 1

He lost someone. He then realized what was long been said by people, what was long been written on books, what was long been a maxim. He realized that life can be taken away in a blink of an eye. No signs. No premonitions. No warnings. Life was lost. That moment changed his life. It was a major turning point. He changed. He felt the need to change.He felt like anyone can be taken away from him at any moment. He felt weak. He can do nothing. He realized that sometimes there are no “next times” He decided to tell what he felt towards people. He decided to be vocal about his feelings. He decided to let others know how they affect his life. He was afraid of losing someone again. He was afraid. There even came a time that paranoia messed up his mind. Thoughts of losing people kept popping out. He felt really useless and weak. All he could say was “Take care.”

Excerpt 2

Sometimes, when they are all together, he feels this overwhelming joy. There’s this certain euphoria that hit him. Whenever this happened, he just thanked God for making him alive. It was one of those times when he was able to say,

“This is life.”

Excerpt 3

Maybe, sometimes, those significant people in your life wonder if they ever have been meaningful in your life, if you appreciate the things they do for you. Maybe they wonder if you miss them when you’re not together, if you think of them when they are not around. Maybe they wonder if you notice their efforts, if you notice their care. Maybe they wonder when they think of you, do you ever think of them too. Maybe they wonder if they made an impact in your life.

Maybe they need to hear those assuring words from you. Maybe they need those words right now. Maybe, just maybe, they doubt themselves, doubt their self-worth. And you’re assuring words may give them salvation.

Actions speak louder than words, they say. But sometimes words give us the certainty of what the actions really meant. Sometimes simple words of encouragement and words of appreciation help us get back up on our feet. Sometimes we crave for praises and compliments. And sometimes we want to hear them coming from the persons who mean so much to us.

It feels good to visit my old self through reading these words. I feel proud of my old self. For her to be able to say such things. It makes me smile.

I hope to write again. I hope my future self will be proud of me also. God willing, I live a number of years He only knows.

Lord, help us open ourselves for Your blessings. May it come in a form we like or not. May we be aware of your love always. You are our hope. Thank you for saving us.

Thank you for this life. Thank you for holding on to us. Thank you for never letting go.

New Beginning

I’m not good with good byes. But good byes are a part of life and it make room for new beginnings.

I already miss certain persons while they are still here. What more when they already leave. They’re absence will surely be felt. It always hurts when people to whom you are emotionally attached leave. But at the same time you are happy because they are moving on with their lives and pursuing things they want. All I can do is be happy for them and keep in touch.  You appreciate things more when you know you can lose them. 

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to work with such wonderful people. Thank you for letting me know them. Thank you for letting me be a part of their lives and vice versa. The thought of them leaving triggers a separation anxiety in me. I will sure miss them. Seriously. They have been a part of my daily life for almost 2 years.

I hope I can transcend my gratitude to them while we are still together at work.

Change is always hard. Help us make this coming transition as smooth as possible. I hope things will get better fast. Help us adjust. Give us the grace, patience, and humility we need to make this transition a smooth success.

As for my quarter life crisis, please lead me where I should go. Help me see the direction I need to take.  Give me peace and comfort while going through uncertainty. Let me be at peace with not knowing. Help me. Remind me always that You will unfold things in Your time. Grant me patience and wisdom. I need them with my daily decisions in life. Give me courage to face the unknown. Give me hope to hold on to.

Give me people that I can be intimate with. I need intimate relationships with my life where I can get comfort and share my joys and sorrows.

Thank you Lord. Help me pass through this phase.

Growth in Conflict

There is power in the Word of God.

Respond. Don’t react.
P-ause.
R-sist the first reaction.
A-ask for God’s control.
Y-ield to God.

Thank you for teaching me to:
- be patient with my progress.
- not hurry my growth.
- respect my pace.
- grow at the right pace.
- be patient with the progress of others.
- respect the pace of others.
- continue planting the right seeds, even though I don’t see the results yet.

Thank you for your enduring patience with me.
Thank you for answering my prayers.
Forgive me for my impatience and impulsiveness.
Help me understand that things happen in Your time, not mine.
Your will, not mine.

Speak to me when I get frustrated when things don’t happen my way.
Help me realize that You are giving me what I need though they may not come in ways I expect them to be.
Remind me that you are using other people to mold my character.
May I see the opportunities for growth in every conflict and pain.

Thank you for being with me.

 

Be Mindful of your Emotions

Thank you Lord for helping me, for assisting me with what I need to do.
Thank you for asking me how I was doing, for doing something to help me.
Thank you for being so nice.

Thank you Lord for my friends who are always there to laugh with me.

Help me to be mindful of my emotions.
Guard my heart.
Tame my tongue.

Patience. Self-control. Gentleness. Compassion. Love.
Practice these things.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Help Me Be Still

God, help me be still.
Help me fix my eyes on you.

Thank you for giving me everything that I have.
I may not even be aware of all the blessings I already have.
Sometimes I focus on what I don’t have instead of what I have.
Forgive me Father for I do not know what I am doing.

Thank you for reminding me of what’s important.

I will be still and know You are God.

Life is Awesome

Thank you for giving me such wonderful people to share my life with.
These people make me feel how good it is to be alive.
I am so grateful, God, that you allow me experience such joy, love, and pleasure.

I am proud to have met them and to actually know them.

Little wonders.

Life is awesome when you have great people to share it with.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help.
Thank you for letting me help.
Thank you for letting me know that you appreciate my help.
Thank you for your trust.

Guise us Lord.
Remind us of our worth.
Remind us that you so love us that you died for us.
Let that fact sink in.
May we always remember your love.
You love never fails, it never gives up, and it never runs out.

May every soul be aware of your presence and love.
May every soul accept you.
Thank you Jesus.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Water of Christ, wash me.

Help us to be considerate and sensitive with others.
Give us the wisdom to discern proper timing.

Jesus, you are the answer we are all looking for.

Hi there,

It’s been a while.

Thank you God for the feeling of gratitude.
Thank you for your grace.

Thank you for letting me share.
Thank you for listening to me.
Thank you for acknowledging my feelings.
Thank you for the friends you have given me.
Thank you for the opportunity to learn and the opportunity to teach.
Thank you for providing people in my life that I can look up to.
Thank you for letting wonderful people come into my life.
Thank you for the feeling of admiration.
Thank you for guiding me.
Thank you for your enduring patience.
Thank you God.
Thank you for the talent you have given me.
Help me use them for your glory.

Thank you Jesus.
Remind me that you are living in all of us.

Love is the fulfillment of the law.
Love covers a multitude of sin.
Let all my actions be done in love.

Increase my faith.
You must increase, I must decrease.

Help me to do your will, for you are my God.

Let there be peace on earth.
Be still, my soul. Be still.
Let God be God.

Thank you for the people you allow to be into my life.
Thank you for them.
Thank you for this environment.
Thank you for helping me.

Help me to be sincere.
Help me to make these people aware of my gratitude for them.
Help me thank them.
Help me to send my message sincerely.

Thank you Lord for gratitude.
Thank you for the people in my life.
Thank you.

The Beauty is in The Struggle

“The beauty is in the struggle.”

Whenever I face challenges of any sort, I always tell myself that the beauty is in the struggle. It’s not just that “there” is beauty in the struggle but “the” beauty is really in “the struggle”. I hope I’m making sense here. In connection with that is the Bible verse Romans 7:15-25 (which you may refer to the full text below).

I don’t know what your personal beliefs are. If you are a Christian or not. But in my case, and I hope this helps you too, whenever I feel a struggle within myself about decisions I need to take, I take delight that I am having a struggle within because I believe that Jesus lives within me, and He is fighting the sin that lives in me also. I believe that having that struggle is a proof that I am still with Christ, that I am still thinking about His will. Make no mistake that “the struggle” is based on Morality. It’s not. It’s based on what I know about God, Jesus, and the Gospel. I may not know and understand a lot. But this I know, that Jesus died for the death I deserve, and all that I am experiencing in this life is a privilege. I live because of his grace.

Yes, I still doubt. I have questions that I believe won’t be answered in this lifetime. Every now and then, I ask and doubt if what I believe is real. I get easily strayed sometimes. I don’t deny that there are times that I feel down and wonder if there is meaning to life and all. Yes, I do struggle to believe in my faith.

But whenever I get reminded that Jesus died for me so that I may live, I get overwhelmed and encouraged. I don’t know of anything more encouraging than that. I can’t express it enough in words. I hope you understand what I am saying here, but if you don’t, I pray that you will, eventually. Because there’s no greater joy than to experience God’s love.

Romans 7:15-25
New International Version (NIV)
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

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